Arnold and the hungover student shared a bond, actually, they shared two; both knew why the bus stops had vanished, and both knew that no one would believe them. Would you believe a hungover student’s claims of having witnessed a Christmas trees and bus stop go on strike? (Especially if said student conceded to having witnessed the scene after a litre of vodka?) Equally, would you trust a man, already thrown from senate for his lack of sense, when he argued that this strike was the result of both inanimate objects gaining feelings, as if by osmosis, from their human interactions?
No? I thought not.
After divulging her account to an audience of ridiculing housemates, Eleanor, the hungover student, allowed the eccentric tale to retreat into her brain’s confines; coincidentally, the place where all the greatest literature evolves.
However, it will surprise no one to know that Alfred was not so easily deterred. A beneficial circumstance for Eleanor and the handful of other 4AM wanders. Other witness you cry? Well of course, did you suppose that bus stops could spout abusive messages without attracting the attention of more than one drunk? Equally, it is naïve to assume that brunette Christmas trees could bob around bus stops, employ their branches as screwdrivers and carry the stops away without attracting attention.
Why was this information not mentioned previously? Because it was a secret, even to those who’d been sworn at by bus stops or witnessed Christmas trees hop through alleyways with stops adorning their peaks. (If you’ve ever seen Micky Mouse impose life on an army of broomsticks, you can picture the scene). I shouldn’t have to explain, but I will, that the reason why this society of witnesses had remained secret, even to each other, was because no one believed their eyes. Generally bus stops signs don’t read, ‘if I can’t go to Linkety Lane, then you can’t either’ and equally Christmas trees, once thrown out, commonly rot on corners not carry bus stops. Like Eleanor, the 4AM wanderers sent their visions into an unconscious realm. A witness later conceded that suppressing the images was more sensible then undergoing examination.
However, as the vice presented deduced, Alfred was not a fan of sensible options. Consequently, this advertisement appeared in the national news;
Have you been sworn at by a bus stop? Witnessed a Christmas tree use it branches to unscrew a bus stop? Run into a gang of trees holding bus stops aloft whilst bobbing and or hopping? Contact Alfred at firstname.lastname@example.org. Help discover the truth for the good of the nation and its missing bus stop problem.
To be continued…